Loving the Unlovable According to Scriptures

Loving the unlovable person based on what the Bible says is not a walk in the park. Our fallen nature makes us predisposed to loathe those who caused us tremendous pain, whose spurious behavior and actions caused us unbearable anguish and shame.

Nonetheless, should we allow seething anger and resentment to engulf us, our lives will be marred by anxiety and distress, opening a wide and easy path to self-destructive behavior.

Thus, God commanded us to forgive those who wronged us for a good reason: to free us from being encumbered by the debilitating pangs of anger. And though showing compassion with grace and sincerity to our enemies may be a tall order— it can be done.

On our own, it’s an impossible feat, but with God, anything is possible. God would not have instructed us to love and forgive our adversaries if it was not doable. Quite simply, it would take a Christian of great faith and spiritual depth to love the unlovable and forgive the unforgivable.

The Bible is replete with reminders about loving others as passionately as we can, whether that be a friend or an enemy. A way to remind us to keep ourselves rooted in compassion when love treads into hate’s territory.

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who are abusive to you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat people the same way you want them to treat you.” –Luke 6:27-31

Nonetheless, reading Bible passages about loving one’s enemy is futile if our acceptance of Christ as Savior is devoid of heartfelt sincerity. We need to keep in mind that it is only when there’s true acceptance of Christ can the Holy Spirit dwell in us— enabling us to live a life of obedience by helping us turn our flaws into strengths.

 As it is written:

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.” —- Romans 8:26 NKJV

The indwelling Spirit of God will empower us to love without conditions.

It is the same Spirit that enabled Jesus to pray for those who mocked Him even as He agonized in pain on the cross at Calvary’s hill.

Hence, since the Spirit of God that is in Christ is the same Spirit that dwells within us all—we are more than capable of loving the most disagreeable person we can think of.

Jesus demonstrated how to love others with a sincere heart. He lived what he preached about love— how it is to truly love others. At the time when the Hebrews avoided mingling with people afflicted with leprosy, Jesus chose to touch the untouchables. Filled with compassion, Jesus healed them of their afflictions.

When the crowd taunted and mocked Jesus as He writhed in pain on the cross, He did not ask the Father to avenge Him but chose to intercede on their behalf.

“Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” Luke 23:34-38 NKJV

When the mob attempted to stone an adulterous woman to death, Jesus told them: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” — John 8:7 NKJV

“Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” John 8:10-11 NKJV

There were a myriad of instances in which Jesus mingled, dined, and befriended sinners — people who were shunned and considered outcasts in society but were received by the Lord with open arms.

“ I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:32 NKJV

 Loving bad people is not tantamount to tolerating their mistakes. We are commanded to love the sinners but not their morally aberrant behavior. Instead of tolerating misdeeds, Christians are duty-bound to correct a brother when the latter deviates from God’s path.

Rebuking someone for misbehavior is not akin to being self-righteous. As Christians, we know that we’re all sinners and have fallen from God’s grace. Thus, we are not to judge others. Nonetheless, we are called to correct and admonish one another that we may not drift away from God–deterring us from being ensnared and entangled in the inescapable corruption of sin.

However, we must be reminded to correct a brother with compassion and gentleness of heart.

“Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.” Galatians 6:1

In as much as we want to forgive and forget, we at times end up ruminating and dwelling on the injustice done against us. As a result, extending mercy to enemies who afflict us with intolerable anguish can be overwhelmingly difficult.

If you are finding it hard to love difficult people, here are ways to help you extend forgiveness when the storm of anger rages within you.

Despite all our wrongdoings and incessant rebellion against His commands, God sent us His beloved Son to die on the cross that we may have eternal life.

“But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 KJV

Hence, if the Lord Himself, who is without sin, can absolve us of the gravest offense, can we not, as mere humans, extend the same forgiveness to those who wronged us?

 The more time we devote to meditating on God’s words, the more the Holy Spirit will manifest in our lives, empowering us to rise above every kind of moral depravity and wickedness, such as anger, hate, vengeance, envy, and other vile sins. Thus, we are able to forgive those who mistreated us through the transformative power of the Holy Spirit that live within us.

We don’t mean to justify or tolerate misbehavior, but understanding the triggers behind people’s unsavory conduct will make us more tolerant and empathetic to their plight.

Is your husband inclined to get angry at the slightest provocation? Is he so sensitive that even constructive criticism can make him go berserk? We must go back to his childhood. Maybe he was physically and emotionally abused as a child, which stirred him to react negatively to censure and disapproval.

As human beings, we sometimes have unresolved and unhealed childhood traumas that we carry into adulthood. Therefore, we must practice the virtues of grace and mercy when dealing with people’s moral frailties.

It’s only when we walk in people’s shoes that we can have a profound understanding of the reason why people behave the way they do.

As the adage goes ‘Don’t judge another person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.’

Note: If your other half is physically abusive towards you, please seek help. God commanded us to forgive and extend grace but not to tolerate any form of violence that can put your life and that of your children in danger.

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV

The more we allow God’s love to saturate our being, the more we are capable of loving others with the same grace, passion, and unconditional love that God has shown us.

 Throughout the centuries, God’s servants have undertaken remarkable feats to bring the gospel to the unreached, even at the risk of their own lives. Having a heart for the lost, and sacrificing one’s life for strangers would have been impossible if one’s heart is not rooted in God’s love.

“We love because He first loved us.” —1 John 4:19 NIV How to Love the Unlovable [ Bible Verses]

Let us meditate on these Bible verses that teach us how to love difficult people in our lives.

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”— John 15:12 NKJV 

“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.”

Proverbs 24:17 NKJV

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV

Father,

You alone are worthy of all praise and adoration— the source of all love, compassion, and kindness.

Today, I come before you in repentance, asking for your forgiveness for having allowed the spirit of anger and resentment to take control over my life. I now lay down before you all these negative emotions that veer me off the path of peace, preventing me from experiencing the peace and joy that can only be found in You.

Give me a forgiving heart and put the right Spirit within me— so that I may always be empowered to extend grace to those who cause me pain. Father, I choose to forgive those who wronged me, and I pray that you will open their hearts to your words. May my enemies learn your ways so that they may also receive your blessings.

 In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

When feelings of anger and animosity fill your heart, cling to God and He will fill your heart with His love, enabling us to forgive the unforgivable and to love the unlovable.